the second time around
when i was training for my marathon last year, everyday was a new challenge. every week a new PR in mileage, and every bump in the road a battle of epic proportion.
the week consisted of constant lamenting over the upcoming weekend long run, every saturday morning a new set of nerves, and every last few steps of every run ended in wow. i can't believe i actually did it!!
it was a challenge. it was an adventure. it was new. scary. everyday there was something to write about, to share with the RBF, because OMGOSH i just ran 4, 8, 10, 16.... 22 miles! holy bananas people! and i'm still alive! still breathing! whooooooa!!!!!
it was an unforgettable time. it was me really pushing my body and mind to the limit. in every run there'd be a stopping point, a breaking point, and in 5 months i learned more about myself, and what i'm capable of, than any other 5 month period of my life.
hands down.
and i loved it. i found out what i have in me, and what i'm willing to do for something i want so badly. and it not only surprised me, i think it surprised the hell outta pretty much everyone else too.. she's hardcore....who knew?!?!
so this week, when Army Runner Guy came up to me and asked about this weekend's run, and i heard myself say, ever so casually, oh i dunno.. 8 miles or something. 7. i'll probably just do 8. meh. we'll see, and i realized how non-chalant saturday runs have become, how part of my routine, and how unassuming the prospect of running had become..
i about fell outta my chair.
even Army Runner Guy, who i went to, without fail, e-v-e-r-y friday to discuss the next day's run... even 4, 6, 8 mile runs... even he was a little taken aback. you're really into this now aren't you? you're hooked for life!
and yeah.. ya know, i am?!
but as i sat there, i got to thinking... wait a second. i want that intensity back. i want the fear, i want the challenge, i want the constant struggle, so that i can have the constant triumph...
and without skipping a beat, Army Runner Guy said don't worry. you'll have it. everything you learned while running correlates directly with life. you'll be surprised what you'll find you're capable of..
and i feel like it all finally clicked.
i look at my life right now, and compare it to, even just one year ago. where i'm living, what i'm doing, who i choose to surround myself with, and who maybe isn't the best influence in my life and.. maybe i deserve more. i look at my quality of life, quality of living, and i can see, here and there, signs of A.Maria... little miss runner pants herself.. in almost everything i do.
i think quite truly for the first time i get it... its not just about the fitness. its not just about the great little endorphin rush as you hit 5, 10, 15 miles... its not just the medal at the finish line...
in every corny, ridiculous, cheesy, cliche way... it really is about the journey. its the journey of the runner. not the runs... the runner.
its taking the feeling of wow, i can do anything i put my mind to (that may be the most cheesy, corny, can't believe i actually wrote it down line i've ever written. )... its taking that feeling, and actually doing something with it.
THAT'S what i get. and that's what i'm doing.
so as i sit here, drinking a glass of champagne, i cheers to you. i cheers to the feeling of fear, struggle, doubt, pain and intensity. for without those, there can be no reward. no triumph. no joy.
i cheers to all of you that got it such a long time ago.
and i cheers to the journey, because hell... thats what it's all about!
the week consisted of constant lamenting over the upcoming weekend long run, every saturday morning a new set of nerves, and every last few steps of every run ended in wow. i can't believe i actually did it!!
it was a challenge. it was an adventure. it was new. scary. everyday there was something to write about, to share with the RBF, because OMGOSH i just ran 4, 8, 10, 16.... 22 miles! holy bananas people! and i'm still alive! still breathing! whooooooa!!!!!
it was an unforgettable time. it was me really pushing my body and mind to the limit. in every run there'd be a stopping point, a breaking point, and in 5 months i learned more about myself, and what i'm capable of, than any other 5 month period of my life.
hands down.
and i loved it. i found out what i have in me, and what i'm willing to do for something i want so badly. and it not only surprised me, i think it surprised the hell outta pretty much everyone else too.. she's hardcore....who knew?!?!
so this week, when Army Runner Guy came up to me and asked about this weekend's run, and i heard myself say, ever so casually, oh i dunno.. 8 miles or something. 7. i'll probably just do 8. meh. we'll see, and i realized how non-chalant saturday runs have become, how part of my routine, and how unassuming the prospect of running had become..
i about fell outta my chair.
even Army Runner Guy, who i went to, without fail, e-v-e-r-y friday to discuss the next day's run... even 4, 6, 8 mile runs... even he was a little taken aback. you're really into this now aren't you? you're hooked for life!
and yeah.. ya know, i am?!
but as i sat there, i got to thinking... wait a second. i want that intensity back. i want the fear, i want the challenge, i want the constant struggle, so that i can have the constant triumph...
and without skipping a beat, Army Runner Guy said don't worry. you'll have it. everything you learned while running correlates directly with life. you'll be surprised what you'll find you're capable of..
and i feel like it all finally clicked.
i look at my life right now, and compare it to, even just one year ago. where i'm living, what i'm doing, who i choose to surround myself with, and who maybe isn't the best influence in my life and.. maybe i deserve more. i look at my quality of life, quality of living, and i can see, here and there, signs of A.Maria... little miss runner pants herself.. in almost everything i do.
i think quite truly for the first time i get it... its not just about the fitness. its not just about the great little endorphin rush as you hit 5, 10, 15 miles... its not just the medal at the finish line...
in every corny, ridiculous, cheesy, cliche way... it really is about the journey. its the journey of the runner. not the runs... the runner.
its taking the feeling of wow, i can do anything i put my mind to (that may be the most cheesy, corny, can't believe i actually wrote it down line i've ever written. )... its taking that feeling, and actually doing something with it.
THAT'S what i get. and that's what i'm doing.
so as i sit here, drinking a glass of champagne, i cheers to you. i cheers to the feeling of fear, struggle, doubt, pain and intensity. for without those, there can be no reward. no triumph. no joy.
i cheers to all of you that got it such a long time ago.
and i cheers to the journey, because hell... thats what it's all about!
posted by a.maria at 5:46 PM
26 Comments:
Right back atcha Girl!! Beautiful blogging!! L'Chaim!! (To Life!)
To Life! To Running! To SPRING!!
Don't Stop Believin! Hold on to that FEEEEEELING!
Sorry, I thought the moment really deserved some Journey.
Right there with you, Babe!
As a newbie just learning the same lessons, thanks for the reminder that the miles add up to something greater! Cheers!
Hell Yeah!! Two thumbs up- great post!
you nailed it! thanks for a GREAT post.
awesome, awesome, awesome post!
you really captured it...there's so much more to running than just left-foot, right-foot, miles and times. it really permeates through every aspect life, no?
and...i *still* get nervous before a long run. three years later.
Great post (as usual)! Glad you came full circle back to "The Journey"...(referencing post right before your last marathon) that post is what got me going on My Journey!
To Life!
That's one for the refrigerator. Good catch.
Thanks.
Well said! What a great perspective on running, on life, on who we are.
Thanks for sharing!
Geeze, now your a philospher too! YOU are goin' on people's refrigerators!! Girl, you are the best! I hope when I grow up I can learn the lessons you've already assimilated.
Great writing. And great thinking.
amen!
The fact that you are doing it all again gives me a lot of hope. :) I fear I'll run my first and never want to do one again.
Whoa, well said! Cheers, I'll click my glass to that.
Says it all. A perfect explanation.
Great post, keep having fun.
just wanted to let you know i was thinking about you and i am excited your Brew-to-Brew race. I want to do that!
excellent.
Here's to the people we take with us on our journey. Cheers!!!
cheers to you as well... for motivating me. for running. for blogging. thank you.
glad your in the groove. keep at it!
Whoa -I'm a little verklempt. That was so beautiful and so true and I am sitting here wondering why I don't appreciate myself more for the things I accomplish. I'm going to work harder to do that. Thanks Little Miss Runner Pants!
i read this and started to get a little choked up. our little a.maria is all grown up. you do realize, don't you, that not only do you get it, but that you've just planted a seed for so many folks.
you, a.maria, rock our socks.
Wow... great post. I have been reading through many Runner Blogs and this is one of the best posts I have found. I'll definitely be back to read more!
Will
And thus we lose another to the insanity of dedicated running. Watch out, or you'll find yourself sucked into other endurance sports. After years of being an anti-running marathoner, I'm well on my way to being an anti-swimming, anti-running triathlete.
And like Jeff said, now you're not only running, but you're spreading it to others. Soon, you'll be motivating lots of others to share the insanity.
And for what it's worth, you'll find those times that are challenging, where you feel sort of blah about running. But EVERY race brings back that excitement and rush of positive energy.
late to the party, but just wanted to ring in with a SO TRUE to this post. And I'm seeing it especially now, when so much is new and challenging. Now if only I could get back into regular runs and healthy eating...
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